Big Bish Bias

It’s hard being fat obese plus-size. All our life we had to fight…. We have to fight the stereotype that we all sit on our ass all day eating cake. We have to fight the trite movie stereotype that we are all lonely, running around looking for any man that will take us. We have to fight the stereotype that we are all one burger away from getting diabetes (which doesn’t even damn make sense). Sadly, today, we now have to take on yet another fight in the most unlikely of places. We have to fight against big-bishes-turned-skinny bishes. Woooo child….

Honestly, we’ve grown accustomed to the not so subtle big-girl hate we experience on a daily basis. We’re used to the not-so-plus-size models that are used to advertise plus size clothing. We’ve all experienced the men who want to friend zone us during the day, but are down to fuck us at night. We’ve all sat across from a never-had-a-weight-problem nutritionists or trainers who callously tell us to “just eat less” (Why didn’t I think of that?!?!?! *insert eye roll*). Trust me, we live this shit. But NEVER did we think that the shade would come from people who once upon a time looked just like us! Women who were once “one burger away” their damn self! The nerve. One would think that THEY would understand the “love yourself at any size” movement more than anyone! But since yall they don’t get it, let me attempt to make it plain. NO ONE is glorifying obesity. Not Lizzo, not Latifah, not Meghan Trainor, not Monique in her big girl days…not naaan one person. I’ve never heard not one person say be fat like me. What IS happening (for the people in the back not paying attention), is plus size women are finally saying we aren’t the fat lonely bishes standing silently behind our skinny friends waiting to be noticed. We aren’t sitting at home on a Friday night because nobody asked us to the dance. We’re not loud, aggressive, bulls in the china shop. We aren’t any of the overused, overplayed, outdated images that society STILL uses to portray us…!! Think of your favorite plus-size-woman included show/movie…. “Nobody’s Fool”…Amber Riley was all about helping Tika Sumpter with her man woes but had no life man of her own… “Insecure”….even “the awkward black girl” couldn’t bother to write a man into the script for her plus size friend…on a show where literally everybody was getting D…. “Precious”…don’t even get me started…you get the point. Big girls are always the friend or the comic relief in these shows and movies. Never the outgoing, desirable, go-getting lead…. Monique had her own damn show with her own damn name on it, and even she couldn’t land “the Professor” because she was fat…. Look. The shit is old. It’s as played as the abysmal percentage of black women Directors in the same industry. We are beautiful. We are fashionable. We are brilliant. We have husbands and kids and whole ass lives. We are single and dating and shooting our shots and making it. We are traveling and creating and securing the damn bag. THIS is the message that the Lizzos of the world are trying to portray. Not be fat, but girrrrl just because you’re fat don’t let it stop you from doing a damn thing you want to do in this life. As a black girl who has struggled with my weight since back when ABC was on the playground, I would have killed to have a Lizzo growing up. And how sad that in the year of our Lord, two thousand and twenty….when we are far more accepting and tolerant *eye roll* of people of all walks of life….we’re still taking the time to take jabs at big, beautiful women…. Pfft.

Here’s the deal Jillian Michaels all of y’all. You need to check your bias against big girls. Oh you don’t have a bias you say….? Maybe you don’t. Or maybe you hand your plus sized friend the camera to take the pictures of you and others when y’all are out…. Maybe you didn’t ask your plus sized friend to be in your wedding because she didn’t fit the look you were going for…. Maybe you gave her a judging glance when you saw her in the fast food spot…or looked at her outfit and thought “now you know she’s too big to be wearing that…” Maybe you looked at a big girl and assumed she was unhealthy or just one sammich away from getting diabetes…. Hmmm? Just maybe. Bias. Because the reality is not every big girl is out of shape just like not every skinny girl is healthy. Lizzo dances her ass across the stage and then plays the damn flute… Do you know how hard that is?!?! If she was huffing and puffing from being out of damn shape she wouldn’t be able to do it. So just stop….America, just stop….Jillian Michaels, just stop…it’s not her health y’all are concerned about. Y’all are mad because how dare she be big and beautiful AND have confidence and take naked pictures and date and not have a single fuck to give to any of you. I say kudos Lizzo. From all the black girls who took years to realize their value and beauty, bravo. You’re giving the next generation of girls the cliff notes on how to be un-apologetically you. How in the hell can y’all be mad at that?